By AARON VON LUPTON
Starring Madison Iseman, Aaron Dominguez and Melanie Jarnson
Directed by Chuck Russell
Written by Greg McKay, Chuck Russell and Kevin Tenney
The Avenue/Atlas Distribution
Chuck Russell returns to the horror genre for the first time in 25 years. That sentence alone is enough to raise more than just horror fans’ eyebrows. Russell is a fan favourite, mostly for helming the much beloved A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 3: Dream Warriors, but throw in the fact that his latest is a remake of 1986 VHS-rental cult classic, Witchboard – especially considering that Russell directed one of the best horror remakes of all time with his ooey gooey 1988 version of The Blob – and you’ve got the makings of something special.
Well, it sounds that way on paper, anyway. The truth is that WITCHBOARD (2024) has almost nothing to do with the original. The script is painfully predictable, there’s too much CGI blood, and the inventive direction that Russell is known for is mostly missing. But let’s dive in, shall we?
Beginning in 1693, the film finds one Bishop Grogan (David La Haye) and his allies battling a witch named Naga Soth (Antonia Desplat) (you can probably already guess who the real bad guys are). It is here that we are introduced to the titular witchboard. In this version, it’s not a haunted Ouija board that vexes our protagonists, but a more New Age-y “spirit board.” Fast forward to the present day, where Emily (Madison Iseman), a recovering heroin addict, is helping her fiancé, Christian (Aaron Dominguez), open a Creole restaurant in witch-appropriate New Orleans. Emily comes across the spirit board in the woods after it was stolen from a museum. Christian’s ex-girlfriend, Brooke (Melanie Jarnson) – with whom he gets along a little too well – is an expert in all things spiritual and witchy. Soon, by messing around with the board, she accidentally unleashes the power of Naga Soth into their lives.
The trouble starts when Emily uses the newly powered-up spirit board to help locate her missing engagement ring in the restaurant kitchen, kickstarting a tense series of Final Destination-like near-deaths that culminate in a lot of poorly-rendered CGI blood. That last may be a harbinger of what’s to come, but it’s still a cool, dreamlike sequence and the closest the movie ever comes to showcasing the old Chuck Russell magic audiences are no doubt holding out for.
From here, the movie switches gears with the introduction of Alexander Babtiste (Jamie Campbell Bower). This is also where the movie’s script seems to have been rewritten on the assumption that the audience won’t be able to keep up. Babtiste’s intentions are transparently impure, as he clearly has plans to harness the board’s power for himself while pretending to help Emily get away from the witchboard. Perhaps in a previous draft, it was a good idea to have witchcraft serve as a metaphor for addiction, but it seems to be introduced here only to be quickly forgotten as the movie falls into more typical good vs. evil territory. To make it extra cliché, we learn that Emily is somehow a descendant of Naga Soth (through a Google search) and Babtiste is a descendant of Bishop Grogan. With Emily now possessed by the witch, Babtiste feels it is his birthright to control Naga Soth in the present day, within his own coven of witches.
By the way, there is zero chemistry between these characters. Bower is a much more seasoned actor than Dominguez, having appeared in titles like Sweeney Todd and Stranger Things, and it shows. As the overzealous hero boyfriend, Dominguez is noticeably stiff and wooden, almost like he’s wondering what the hell movie he’s in. There’s no allure between him and Emily, either, who is not convincing at all as a recovering drug addict. She has none of that dark and jaded worldview so many incur after going through the hell of substance abuse, and it’s hard to believe she would smoke a joint, much less stick a syringe in her foot.
If you noticed WITCHBOARD (2024) has absolutely nothing to do with the movie it is supposedly based on, outside of the basic use of a board and possession as plot devices, you’re not alone. That in itself is disappointing, given that Kevin S. Tenney’s original is such a fun and underrated ‘80s flick. Russell’s film takes itself way too seriously, given its pedestrian script, and will likely be most remembered for being unmemorable. This isn’t the Chuck Russell return we were hoping for, but if his name pops up on another horror film, you know we’ll likely give him another chance anyway.
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