By JOEL HARLEY
Author Bret Nelson lets readers choose their own film tie-in with BETRAYAL AND BLACK LACE, based on the 2024 film Frankie Freako. Originally written and directed by Steven Kostanski, the movie’s unique blend of Gremlins and The Cat in the Hat sees the life and home of milquetoast Conor (Conor Sweeney – and not celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay, who I can’t help but see on the film’s cover art) invaded by a gaggle of goblins led by the titular Frankie Freako. Straddling a line between comedy, horror, sci-fi and outright cheese dream, it’s a cult genre film like no other.
And if Frankie Freako wasn’t your average horror film, then why should its prose spin-off try to be? In his introduction to BETRAYAL AND BLACK LACE, Kostanski writes: “As I continue my relentless effort to craft the most obscure cross-media promotions for my films, I proudly present to you this sultry spinoff.”
Well, quite.
The screenwriter and director describes the book as an “erotic thriller” that’s also a “forge-your-freaky-fate” or choose-your-own-adventure book. This allows readers to choose their own path as the plot unfolds. Written by Nelson (Plan 9 From Outer Space, Manborg: The Novelization) and published by Encylopocalypse Publications, it’s as strikingly original – and disturbingly odd – as the film which preceded it.
Rather than stepping into the diminutive shoes of Frankie himself, you are Boink Bardo, the most visually striking of the film’s puppet creations. Thrown into a deviously erotic mystery, it’s up to you to navigate a world of cigarette smoke, blackmail and entirely freaky plot twists. Keep an eye out, too, for Boink’s pals, including gunslinger Dottie Dunko and, of course, Frankie himself. Scattering the tale across several disparate threads is a disorienting approach, but one which largely works. It doesn’t labour the point long enough to trip over its own convoluted – and occasionally confusing – mystery, allowing readers to dive back in once they hit one of many dead ends.
Nelson doesn’t shy away from the absurdism either, sending viewers on a globe-trotting quest that takes readers from prison to Ireland to a place called The Tangy Bung. You’re either on board with this journey, or you’re not, and the book makes few concessions to a wider audience, although it is still accessible to those who might not have seen the film, bemusing as it all might be. To be honest, I’ve seen the film, and I was still thoroughly baffled.
Featuring scratchy illustrations from Stew Miller, it’s a lively, if slightly rough-around-the-edges adventure, and Nelson’s brisk but efficient scene-setting allows readers to dip in and out on the fly. Choose-Your-Own-Adventure books are to be appreciated wherever one can find them, so this one is to be cherished, even if its gameplay is a little on the simplistic side. No pencil or dice required here, just an open mind and a good sense of humour.
Like the film itself, BETRAYAL AND BLACK LACE won’t be to all tastes. If anything, it’s even more assured of its own nuttiness than the film, throwing readers into its Freakworld with little time to settle in or adjust. Those who did enjoy Frankie Freako’s debut adventure, however, should find plenty to unpack and explore here. By its very nature, it’s a film tie-in that keeps on giving.
Fasten your underpants and crack open a can of Fart Cola, one of the most bonkers works of tie-in literature ever written is here. Shabadoo.
