By JEFF SZPIRGLAS
Starring Simon Phillips, Luke Avoledo and Sayla de Goede
Written by Simon Phillips
Directed by Taylor Martin
MVD/Cleopatra
As the Yuletide season descends, MVD and Cleopatra Entertainment leave another Christmas-themed horror entry for our collective stockings in the form of Taylor Martin’s SILENT BITE, a low-budget offering pitting a group of Santa-suited burglars against a quartet of vampires looking for more than a sip of eggnog.
The bandits, led by screenwriter/star Simon Phillips, hole up in a seedy motel where they appear to have an arrangement with the management to keep things secret from the authorities. But as noted, they’re not the only ones laying low at the isolated motel: a group of female vampires have been promised a feast by the concierge, and you can probably tell where things will go from there.
Clearly riffing on more than a few Tarantino flicks, SILENT BITE mashes up From Dusk Till Dawn with elements from other capers, including Reservoir Dogs (the robbers use silly pseudonyms like Father Christmas, Rudolph, Grinch, etc.). Luke Avoledo is Blake, the odd kid out in the group of heavies who just wants to make amends for his father’s debts. Although he and Phillips have a few good scenes together (Phillips does an admirable job with his own material, playing the weariness of a life in crime with proper nuance), one of the drawbacks is that the rest of the characters are as anonymously drawn as their secret identities; the bulk of the bank robbers come across as ciphers. Sadly, the vampires are less convincingly drawn in the ensemble, although at least Sayla de Goede tries to chew as much scenery whilst gnashing her fanged teeth as the vampiric Mother.
The 90-minute runtime works in the film’s favor, with it plotted briskly enough to introduce the key players and sketch in some backstory, although it takes too long to set the burglars against the vampires. You’d think that the empty hotel would allow more opportunities for these two groups to engage in gory combat, but Martin keeps things on the younger side of a PG-13 rating, despite the bevy of tough-guy profanity. Ultimately, it’s nothing we haven’t seen before, or done better. You’ll probably ease into the couch while this plays in the background; here’s hoping Taylor Martin can draw a bit more blood on his next offering.
SILENT BITE is currently available to rent or purchase on most major streaming platforms.
