Select Page

MOVIE REVIEW: “HELL’S HALF ACRE” IS MILES OF TEDIUM

Tuesday, May 2, 2023 | Reviews

By GABE THOMAS

Starring Quinn Nehr, Brynn Beveridge and Omar Vega Jr.
Written and directed by John Patrick Tomasek
Terror Films

In an era of constantly evolving technology, it can be difficult for modern filmmakers to keep up with an online culture of ever-changing trends. That said, nobody ever asked people with zero knowledge or passion for internet storytelling to explore conventions that have already been perfectly explored in other movies. Unfortunately, this undercurrent of disinterest permeates every moment of HELL’S HALF ACRE.

John Patrick Tomasek’s new film comes across as a misguided attempt to explore similar ideas as recent indie darlings Deadstream and Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum. When a group of YouTubers decides to livestream their exploration of an abandoned prison, they encounter more than they bargained for. What follows is a parade of ghosts and supernatural happenings, all of which we’ve seen countless times before.

The story is nothing new, and unfortunately, a feeling of general technical incompetence overwhelms the movie. The editing is dispassionate, with entire conversations playing out in single wide shots. There is no chemistry between the actors, and the small semblance of character arcs they are given feel lazy and directionless. Dialogue is at times difficult to make out, and it’s laughable when you can understand what characters are saying.

The film opens with a credit sequence reminiscent of early 2000s-era horror flicks, complete with quick cutting and expository, sepia-toned documents. Coupling this with scenes shot in green-and-black night vision, the whole project feels very dated – an especially egregious offense when making a movie about YouTubers.

On a brighter note, the location scout did a terrific job. The abandoned prison is genuinely creepy, which makes the witchcraft inside all the more believable. The brief glimpses of practical gore are also terrific, though the same cannot be said about the various digital effects on display. When even the pentagrams in your movie are CGI, it’s time to drop the computer and hit the hardware store.

A subplot with another team of supernatural investigators (known as the “Ghost-Getters”) is the bright spot of the film. These actors have a lot more life in their eyes and are responsible for the only successful moments of comedy. While the resolution of their story is deeply predictable, it was a nice breather from the monotony of the rest of the film.

Overall, HELL’S HALF ACRE is a boring affair. Scenes of characters wandering around hallways, jumping out at each other in poorly executed scare sequences, become commonplace. Haphazard lore and drama are thrown into the mix, leading to a series of twists that defy the movie’s logic entirely. Every so often, there is the modicum of a clever idea, but there isn’t a single payoff that elicits any emotion besides frustration.

HELL’S HALF ACRE is available now on digital and on demand.

 

 

Rue Morgue Manor
The Rue Morgue Manor is the Toronto headquarters of Rue Morgue magazine and its brand offshoots.