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THE POWER OF CHRIST BUNNY COMPELS YOU TO WATCH THESE EASTER HORROR SHORTS

Saturday, March 31, 2018 | Culture

It goes without saying the horror genre is pretty generous with giving us fans something to watch on these observed holiday days off from work. As we plop down in that comfortable ass-indented spot on the couch and observe these national fiestas our way. However, when it comes to holiday-themed horror films, anything focusing on Easter Sunday comes up in short supply. With the exception of such gems as CRITTERS 2 and EASTER BUNNY, KILL! KILL! among a few other cult horror treasures deep within the independent circuit, we’ve never really had a proper full-length horror movie that celebrates a fuzzy rodent breaking into your house, dropping egg deuces all over the damn place.

So much potential there.

With the list of feature Easter horror films about as bare as HOLIDAYS’ Jesus Bunny’s furless ass, I figured we’d give the short film arena some love with some pretty eggcellent (there goes my inner Crypt Keeper again) and showcase a few short horror films available on YouTube that deserve a gander this Bloody Bunny Sunday.

“TRICK ‘R’ TREAT: EASTER CANDY”

Directed by none other of course Michael Dougherty exclusively for FEARnet, our loveable little Sam isn’t having any of this Easter bullshit. The mischievous lore of Halloween and Easter is combined into an awesome little short that plays on those fears of tampered candy. Also note, if you happen to be Vegan, this pint-sized Easter bit might just ruin the holiday for you all together.

 

“EASTER BUNNY”

Night of the living bunnies indeed! We’ve all seen the dead coming back for revenge scenario time and again, but never with a twist like this. In this well-thought-out tale of a true Easter nightmare from hell, a grieving owner is seen burying her beloved deceased pet, Fluffy the Bunny in the midst of Winter. Fast-forward a few months later to Easter Sunday, we see said owner has moved on with a new cottontail companion. Apparently, Fluffy is none too happy watching this from the grave so he’s got a jelly-filled surprise for his former owner in this TePonui Film.

 

“THIS IS EASTER”

You know, if a sick llama and the White Rabbit from the retro Disney live-action show ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND had a love child, this would be the twisted result. I’m not sure what is exactly going on over here, but it looks as if this guy took off in the woods with the Easter Bunny’s egg basket, pissing off the holiday fuzzball from Hell. While it doesn’t stack up as well against these other horror shorts, the Wonderland white llama rabbit makeup is pretty damn entertaining.

 

“HOLIDAYS: EASTER”

I firmly believe that we have our untapped full-length Easter horror film sitting right here inside 2016’s HOLIDAYS. Ok, I know that technically this isn’t a horror short but rather a segment from a film anthology. But hey, by itself it’s short enough to totally count! Also, there’s no way I could leave this out in good conscious.

The eleven-minute slot directed by Nicolas McCarthy, EASTER combines the religious aspect of the holiday with fantasy and rolls out one hideous creation portrayed by STRANGER THINGS own Demogorgon, Mark Steger. Steger’s mannerisms as a crucified Jesus Cottontail are the stuff of pure nightmares. That being said, the young girl in the segment who is just hellbent on catching the bunnyman in action on Easter morning, is in for one that she’ll want to wake up from severely. This poor kid just wanted to see the Easter furball hiding eggs, but instead comes face to bunny-nose with a giant hairless rabbit-man sprouting baby chicks from its stigmata wounds in her living room. And because they surely can’t be creepy enough, upon the moment Bunny Christ realizes he isn’t alone, commences a formal introduction with the little girl by making her stick his fingers inside his stigmatic rib wounds.

FANTASTIC.

Patti Pauley
Lover and rambler of everything in the horror genre, from the present to essentially anything concerning retro horror goodness and vintage Halloween. Patti is an active member of the horror community, writing for several websites over the years, including her own. Count Chocula serves as her Kryptonite.