By PAUL “NOMAD” NICHOLASI
Greetings to all Spooky Kids! Today is DAY 6 of our 24 Days of Halloween Toys Mystery Calendar! Each day from now ’til the high holiest of creepy days, you’ll be able to click on a vid below and reveal the TERRORS that hide beneath … on the lazy Susan … OF DOOOOM!!!
Disclaimer: RUE MORGUE is not responsible for anyone’s brain exploding from fright. Thank you for watching!
The Tweaking Pirate
O hear the tale of the dread pirate … Pete
Whose breath was the freshest and voice, double sweet.
He’d woo all the women from city ports to jungles thick
One flourish of his sword, then he’d be off, super quick!
Until the day came when he made a discovery,
He’d been thrusting and parrying with a bride-to-be.
The cuckold in question stood nearly seven feet high
And the look on his face said he’d accept not one lie.
And so with a deep sigh, Pete stepped up to meet his fate
And was struck in the jewels with a force … pretty great. (yikes)
And now poor Pete’s head sits atop the tavern sign as if he’s pleased to have met ya’,
warning all able-bodied men what a sweet voice will get ya!
Check back here every day until Halloween for more unspeakable playthings!
