By PAUL “NOMAD” NICHOLASI
Greetings to all Spooky Kids! Today is DAY 10 of our 24 Days of Halloween Toys Mystery Calendar! Each day from now ’til the high holiest of creepy days, you’ll be able to click on a vid below and reveal the TERRORS that hide beneath … on the lazy Susan … OF DOOOOM!!!
Disclaimer: RUE MORGUE is not responsible for anyone’s brain exploding from fright. Thank you for watching!
SMURFS
There are purported to be thousands of little blue creatures living in the French countryside. This blue tribe is inexplicably predominantly male, with only one known female sighted. We have no idea how that works….
When Hollywood caught wind of this race of creatures, they quickly slapped down some copyrights and made merchandise — with horrific results. The film-idealized Smurfs most distinguishing feature in HD was visible skin pores, giving the characters a moist appearance that bordered on sticky. The new look revolted audiences but sparked the imaginations of scientists who began experimenting on live samples, splicing them with animals and household items. When corporate America could not find a way to monetize these abominations, they were pawned off as inexpensive Halloween toys, which made their way back to the original tribe, and within 4 days, they ate their biological brothers (and sister).
Check back here every day until Halloween for more unspeakable playthings!
