By JILLIAN KRISTINA
She walks in the dark, walker between worlds. She needs no light, only her senses, her intuition – her second sight – to guide her. Teetering between the myriad realms of reality, she sees beyond the pale. She sees what must be faced, both within and without. She hears the whispers, conveys the messages. She sees specters, phantoms, shadows. She walks amongst them, flesh and ether, for she is both.
She’s the Medium. She’s Vanessa Ives. She’s Annie Wilson. She’s Elise Rainier. She’s Abra Stone. She’s Eleven. She’s all of us.
We’re all mediums. And we all have a choice.
Some see it as an ancestral gift, a birthright. “My granny told me that I had a gift. That it runs in my family. And, she told me that I shouldn’t be afraid of it. I should just always use my instinct and I’d be alright.” Annie Wilson (Cate Blanchett), THE GIFT
Others see it as a curse, the heaviest of burdens. “There are things within us all that can never be unleashed.” Vanessa Ives (Eva Green), PENNY DREADFUL
And yet, to some, it’s the only avenue of healing and wholeness they have left. “I have gone to become a superhero again.” Eleven (Millie Bobby Brown), STRANGER THINGS
We’ve seen what happens when people embrace their gifts, but what happens when they don’t? What happens when we choose to turn our back on our gifts, to deny our legacies, to forgo our personal power and connection to…we don’t quite know, but we know it’s there, and we know it’s real. How? Because we sense it. We feel it. Sometimes, some of us see it. But everyone has a sense of knowing, call it a gut feeling, call it deja vu, call it a memory through the surreal fog of a fading dream.
“What I tried to do was find the places in myself of empathy, of reception. Elise is a really good receiver. She’s got a good radio. She’s tuned in. And I believe all people have that ability. I don’t think it’s just assigned to a few. But we’re so full of static, that I think we don’t hear very often, at all. We don’t hear each other, let alone another world.” Lin Shaye, ELI ROTH’S HISTORY OF HORROR, SEASON 1, EPISODE 7: GHOST STORIES
We’ve seen it time and again – illness, disease, anxiety, depression, rage, all symptoms of a misalignment. A blockage. A denial of flow, of harmony. Balance. Potential.
But what if, by opening ourselves up to these gifts – by accepting the invitation – we’re allowing those energies in – those very birthrights – whose loss created these imbalances of body and spirit? What if these connections with the realms beyond are the channels to our deepest revelations and rejuvenations? The keys to our greatest healing?
Why do we run from ourselves? What are we afraid of? That we’re more powerful than we could ever imagine? Because with great power comes great responsibility, and does anyone even have the energy anymore to not only accept that truth, but to embrace it and live it?
Of course we do. Because it is only in this acceptance that we find that energy. That life force. That reason to keep fighting.
That hope for something better. Something more pure, more honest, more balanced, more peaceful. Something that resembles the life we’ve always wanted to live, but have felt like we’ve had to fight every step to get there. And we’re still not there. But what if that’s because we’re fighting the wrong fights? Forgetting to prioritize ourselves, our well-being, our own desires and passions and dreams? We’re so busy trying to escape our lives that we forget to live them. We forget ourselves. We become lost in disappointment, in hurt, in trauma, in the world and all of the things that seem out of our control.
But they’re not, because the one thing we have control over is ourselves. Behind the walls we’ve constructed, there’s a buzzing – a frequency – waiting for us to tap into. There are messages in this frequency, messages only we can interpret. This requires us dropping our defenses, our doubts and fears long enough to get still, to listen, and to remember the language only we know.
The language of our destiny. Our purpose. Our very personal, very unique reason for being. What’s that one thing that we put off doing, even when we know it’s the key to our balance, our focus, our physical and mental health? For me, it’s writing. There’s a marked difference in my mood, my temperament, hell, even my character when I’m not regularly writing, and when I am. Even now, after buzzing around all day between tasks and phone calls and errands, I’m finally sitting down to focus, to write, to clear the static so that this racing heart of mine can slow down to a more level pace. So I can settle into the here and now, reigning my mind and body back into the present moment by dropping down a gear and easing into the marathon, rather than trying to maintain the unsustainable sprint.
This is where I find clarity. This is where the noise fades and the messages can pour through. This is when I become the medium – a conduit – for all that is seeking to flow through me…or all that is seeking me.
“It was easier than I thought. Like GPS, but in my head.” Abra Stone (Kyliegh Curran), DR. SLEEP
So what would happen if we decided to open ourselves up? To flex our strongest muscle – our intuition – and let it lead the way? What kind of changes could we affect in the world by rising up and answering the call of our highest selves? By embracing our own, personal brand of magick and wielding it for the betterment of ourselves, and by doing so, watch those actions ripple out, creating more magick, more good, more healing? Because I can’t think of something the world could use right now more than people being their best selves by fully embracing themselves, accepting themselves, and yes, loving themselves.
Not something you’re expecting to read in a horror-based column? Consider this – horror is all about redemption. All about healing. All about the hero’s journey. All about people banding together, rising up and fighting the good fight for both individual and collective salvation.
Horror is healing. Horror is the tie that binds. And in that way, horror is magick. Horror has the power to inspire us all to follow our indwelling magick. To get curious about it. To explore it, and in doing so, get to know it, and ourselves, better. Horror is all about personal awareness and development, just like tapping into that gut feeling, or that feeling of deja vu, or those dreams that seem like they’re echoes of another life. So here’s a simple three card spread I came up with for anyone who feels comfortable enough, or has experience with tarot or oracle cards. Any cards will do, even a traditional playing deck, if you’re familiar with the Lenormand style of reading.
- If you were to tap into and allow your inner magick to flow, what would that look like/feel like?
- What is your biggest fear/block surrounding embracing your magick and stepping into your power?
- What is one way you could support your inner magick, and in doing so, yourself?
I’ve pulled some cards for my own reading and will share them on my Instagram – @root_down – for anyone who’s curious! I’d love to hear in the comments below or on my Instagram what cards you pulled! I’m also always available to answer any questions regarding divination, my personal practice, and how to develop your own!
Stay safe out there, friends. Watch scary movies. Practice your magick. Flex your natural, inherent gifts. And remember – don’t let fear or propaganda hold you back. Let your curiosity lead, ask questions, read everything you can, and forge your own fearless path the way only you know how. We need more of that, above all!
