Starring Lyndsy Fonseca, Russell “Russ” Vitale and Hunter King
Directed by Maclain Nelson
Written by Maclain Nelson, James Murray and Darren Wearmouth
Impractical Studios/Redline Entertainment
DON’T MOVE is the second horror movie in the last two years with that title, which is OK because it’s about the 327th movie to use its particular plot. That said, there’s nothing terribly wrong with DON’T MOVE beyond the fact that there’s nothing terribly fresh or adventurous about it.
This includes the opening scene establishing the Tragic Past that every genre-film protagonist is required to have these days. It’s a FINAL DESTINATION-esque setpiece in an amusement-park haunted house—and when you think about it, it’s surprising that the DESTINATION franchise itself hasn’t used that one yet. Anyway, the sequence is pretty brutal and uncompromising, and while it definitely works in the moment, it sets up expectations that go unfulfilled, since none of the rest of the movie is nearly as graphic or distressing.
A year later, Megan Forrester (Lyndsy Fonseca) is grieving her lost loved ones when she accepts an invitation to a church-sponsored camping trip in the Missouri Ozarks. She’s hoping for a relaxing break, but tensions arise even before they leave. Emma (Hunter King), daughter of trip leader Pastor Rizzo (Tom Cavanagh), is on board with her boyfriend Ryan (Joseph Lee Anderson), and there’s bad blood between him and last-minute arrival Ricky (rapper Russell “Russ” Vitale), a troublemaking type who’s so bad-ass he’s introduced listening to Tiffany’s “I Think We’re Alone Now.” Along with young Connor (Patrick Bippus) and his grandparents Jim (Mark Vaughn) and Maryann (Dee Freeman), they set out on a bus driven by Paul (Rob Riggle), who may not be the experienced woodsman he claims to be.
The presence of Riggle in the cast signals that this is the latest horror feature from creators with comedy backgrounds. Specifically, James Murray—“Murr” from IMPRACTICAL JOKERS—was one of the (many) producers and the author of the source novel with Darren Wearmouth; the duo also scripted with director Maclain Nelson, who has a number of holiday romcoms on his résumé. There’s little of the ambition of a Jordan Peele or Zach Cregger here, though, as the formula requirements click into place. The travelers wind up elsewhere than their intended destination (none of them seem to have a GPS on hand), there’s a setting-up-camp montage and a story about horrible things happening in the area many years ago, and some basic character drama unfolds. Then, as daylight begins giving way to night, a gigantic spider emerges from the trees to pick off the hapless campers.
The enormous arachnid, which can leap at lightning speed through the treetops, is more merciless than the filmmakers, who stage most of the casualties as sudden disappearances rather than full-on attacks. Thus DON’T MOVE doesn’t engender too much of the way of serious scares while the group is whittled down to exactly the survivors you’d expect, who are forced to hole up in a handy cabin and figure out a way to escape. The big bug itself, designed by Ukrainian dark artist/creature concept creator Sadan Vague, is a combination of pretty creepy practical effects (which go uncredited) and hot-and-cold digital work by Reactor FX.
A couple of the jump scares in DON’T MOVE really land, though the film only intermittently captures the true terror one would feel being stranded in the woods with a spider five times larger than you. There are occasional continuity issues and at least one major plot thread left dangling, and the final scene (which pays off the movie’s title) isn’t properly set up. With killer eight-leggers having a moment lately, after INFESTED and STING in 2024, SPIDER ISLAND having just dropped and CRAWLERS up next, DON’T MOVE could have used more bite.
