By YASMINA KETITA and DR. BENNY GRAVES
(Editor’s note: THE REWIND ZONE’s Yasmina Ketita and Dr. Benny Graves, ANALOG ABATTOIR’s chief of surgery, recently ventured into the wilds of Pennsylvania to cover VHS Fest, a celebration of analog genre film held each year at the legendary Mahoning Drive-In Theatre. What follows is their eyewitness account of three nights of unabashed fandom. Remember, VHS isn’t dead… It’s just not alive.)
YASMINA KETITA: Another analog-devoted, sweltering VHS Fest is in the books. This summer tradition at the Mahoning Drive-In Theatre in Lehighton, Pennsylvania marks the event’s eighth year and the first time the festival ran for three days, as it’s historically ran for two days. Presented by Lunchmeat VHS and Saturn’s Core and hosted by Joe Pickett and Nick Prueher of the Found Footage Festival, VHS Fest 8 was once again a wild weekend of tape hunting, hanging with friends, baking in the sun and eating popcorn while immersed in low budget VHS films projected on the drive-in screen. The lineup of films for Friday were Nightmare Sisters, Terror Vision and Robot Ninja. Saturday featured Haunting Fear, Conrad Brooks vs. The Werewolf, Blood Harvest, and Attack of the Beast Creatures. Sunday’s offerings were Slumber Party Massacre I and II, with a surprise final screening of Slumber Party Massacre III. This year’s special guests were Brinke Stevens, J.R. Bookwalter and James L. Edwards. This is our first foray into a duo-written column. I, Yasmina Ketita, and my colleague Dr. Benny Graves, are VHS fiends who commit most of our existence to analog schlock. We’ve both continued our annual pilgrimages to Pepe Silvia since VHS Fest 2, where we first met, and this year, we decided to embark on this collaboration of words to tell the tale of VHS Fest 8.
Dr. Benny Graves: What event has such heat that it broils your body like a perfectly cooked burger in a foil bag? What melts your heart like the molten love of Chico’s nacho cheese on a bed of french fries? It’s VHS Fest, of course! Way too quickly, the eighth installment of the greatest tape-head celebration has come and gone. This is a Shangri-La for the analog-hungry, for the celluloid psychos and the schlock-punks. Who better to dissect the eighth outing with me than my schlock-loving colleague Yasmina? In preparation for the event, I packed only the necessities: a fold-out table emblazoned with “Satan Chugs”? and cassettes to blast in the boombox that are equal parts thrash and glam. (I have empirically determined that W.A.S.P. is the only band that metalheads, regardless of their chosen sub-genre, universally support). Most importantly, I brought a case of Guy Fieri Flavortown Spiked Cocktails. (I have a reputation for bringing only the highest quality gut rot to this event.) Armed with all the right tools, it was off to Lehighton, the verdant landscape on which was built what would become the Xanadu of the tape-heads – the Mahoning Drive-In Theatre.
YK: Upon arrival, my mission was clear: Park my car and disperse from my friends to hunt for tapes. I make my move to the first booth I knew had heat, but I pace myself here, knowing the cost of grail tapes will limit the amount of VHS I bring home. Sure, I’d spend hundreds of dollars on Winterbeast, but one of my favourite aspects of VHS Fest is unpacking my loot when I get home to rediscover all my purchases. It’s like opening an unholy Christmas present filled with ‘80s and ‘90s horror and action B-movies. The first tape I bought solely because Cameron Mitchell is in it. The hunt continued… Then, I struck action gold. Releases by AIP (Not that one, the other one – Action International Pictures – co-founded by David A. Prior ) and PM Entertainment are my cream of the crop for ‘80s and ‘90s action, and the movies I snagged mostly star Wings Hauser.
One of the things I love most about VHS Fest is finding rare tapes for lower-than-eBay prices, and I believe that’s possible because of commonality among its attendees and vendors who have an authentic admiration of the genre as opposed to capitalizing on it. My millennial comrades and I continue to cherish the time of rentals and physical media and will never cease our collecting impulses. VHS Fest is also a place where you can meet your internet friends in real life and bond over shared interests – a place where analog fiends come together to meld our sweat and dirt into sticky companionship. Some of the people I’ve met at VHS Fest 2 I now consider my true friends. Even strangers at VHS Fest are exceptionally friendly! (Shout out to the group walking around with super soakers offering to cool people down due to the extreme heat. A kiddie pool might also be a cool accessory for next year.) It’s the kind of event that you could go to solo and not feel alone.
Magic hour at the Mahoning Drive-In
BG: To the uninitiated, VHS Fest can best be described as a tailgating party. However, instead of celebrating athletes with often questionable morals, this is a tailgate that’s nearly antithetical to sports ball. I say “nearly” because both do generate delight from wanton violence. However, that is where the similarities end. If asked to describe a football game, I would likely just regurgitate Eddie Murphy’s dialogue from Coming to America. But ask me to do a beat-by-beat on the violence in The Burning Moon and I become the John Madden of explaining Olaf Ittenbach’s brilliance.
By day, the area directly in front of the massive projection screen is dotted with vendors of all manner of dead media, with tables spilling out to wrap around the snack bar. The wares from these vendors vary from VHS and laser discs to cassette tapes and even a videodisc here and there. Add to that the horror paperback selection and a smattering of horror posters and you begin to understand why many VHS Fest regulars set aside a fund for the event. For those specifically focusing on finding VHS, a treasure trove of genres awaits. Horror is the most prevalent, but for everyone from aficionados of action flicks with musclebound hunks (I’m looking at you Yaz) to lovers of ludicrous boner-comedies (I’m now looking at myself disapprovingly in the mirror) all varieties are represented.
Yasmina Ketita at VHS FEST 8
YK: The “silent” auction held at J.R. Bookwalter and James L. Edwards’ booth took place on Saturday evening. They were selling some of their private Cinema Home Video VHS collection. I put the quotations on the word “silent” because that’s the way this auction began. Each tape had a piece of paper behind it on which you could write your name along with your top bid. You know, how regular silent auctions operate. The auction was to be over at 9:00 p.m., so around 8:55, people started crowding the booth to ensure they could write their names down again, and again, outbidding the last name written down. I wrote my name down for two tapes: Polymorph and Ozone. Once the clock struck 9:00, all hell broke loose, and instead of delegating the tapes to the last names written down, Edwards began shouting the last bid to the crowd and asking for and accepting higher offers, like a regular auction. Confusion, irritation, and anxiety ensued. I must admit that at first, I was perplexed, but then, it was actually quite exciting to not only witness but to be a part of. I was outbid for Ozone, but that’s okay because I shouted my top bid for Polymorph and won the tape. J.R. Bookwalter and James L. Edwards signed it and also gave me a free press book. This was a VHS Fest first, and I’m stoked to have a new addition to my autographed VHS shelf.
BG: Come sundown, the vendors in front of the screen close up shop and the movies for the night begin! Every previous VHS Fest followed the structure of showing triple features on Friday and Saturday. VHS Fest 8 deviated from the formula to add an additional day of movies and vendors on Sunday. The mix of films is usually equal parts SOV, interspersed with several more conventionally beloved schlockbusters thrown into the mix. Previous VHS Fests have usually programmed films around celebrity guests. VHS Fest 8 was no exception, focusing on the eclectic filmography of Brinke Stevens. Where I found a misstep in this year’s programming was the order in which the movies were shown.
The first film of night one was Nightmare Sisters, a boner-comedy-possession film fusion starring Linnea Quigley, Brinke Stevens and Michelle Bauer – the B-movie scream-queen equivalent of a musical supergroup. Now, full disclosure: I loved my first viewing of Nightmare Sisters. It has David Decoteau’s unique touch all over it, which is to say the nude scenes go on to the point of farce, and there is a high-pitched ludicrousness to the proceedings that feels like a Mr. Show sketch satirizing SOV horror. With that in mind, this movie is for a very specific kind of fan (disapprovingly stares into the mirror again). For newbies to the event, this was likely a rough initiation. Day three of the event was a double feature of Slumber Party Massacre and its rockabilly fever dream of a sequel. Showing these movies first (the first movie on night one and the sequel on night two) would have been my ideal choice for Friday and Saturday. Such a lineup would be less likely to alienate those who have little experience with the bizarre places the horror genre can go, and it would also start the triple features on a propulsive, fan-favorite note. In general, I would say the lineup for the first two days would have benefited from a restructuring to keep the energy up. Rumors abounded that there was talk of showing Dream Stalker at one point. The fact that I was deprived of a BMX bootleg Don Dokken playing an even more bootleg Freddy Krueger is a crime against humanity, but I suppose forgiveness will come in time… when they show it.
Some of VHS FEST’s dedicated fans. They only come out at night…
YK: My only critique of last year’s VHS Fest was the music played during the day. This year’s selection was better – music from the synthwave genre. However, I remember a DJ at VHS Fest 2 and 3 playing songs from ‘80s heavy metal horror soundtracks like Black Roses, Rocktober Blood and Rock’n’Roll Nightmare. So, if you need some recommendations for next year’s playlist, my Spotify is prepared. This year also didn’t have live music, as Lapses and other bands have performed in the past. I also have to make mention of the programming and lineup of this year’s films compared to prior years. We spoke to attendees, and the consensus among them (and us) was the choice of films and the order they were shown wasn’t as good this year. I had a conversation with someone who voted for Dream Stalker, but it was canned. I can’t confirm the reasons, and I know it can be arduous to secure rights for screenings. However, I can uphold this movie as an entertaining, wild ride that would’ve gotten a great response from the crowd, much like films from past years like Winterbeast, The Abomination, Hack-O-Lantern, Video Violence I and II and Deadly Prey. I found Nightmare Sisters (especially as the opening film of the fest) to be profoundly dull. I wish we started with a higher energy movie like Slumber Party Massacre, which screened on Sunday, or the second movie, Terror Vision, but I fell asleep in my chair. I love the Slumber Party Massacre franchise, but my party couldn’t stay the third day because we had to drive back to Canada to prepare for work on Monday morning. Since Brinke Stevens was a guest, some of her films were screened. It was my first time watching Haunting Fear, and I usually love Fred Olen Ray’s repertoire, but alas, I found not even Jan-Michael Vincent kept me engaged. I wish I had the energy to stay awake for the movies that screen last, but it’s an impossible feat. I was saddened I didn’t get to see Robot Ninja on the big screen.
BG: As for my personal experience for all three days? The sun was sort of its own character on VHS Fest 8 weekend (a psychotic, cancer-causing character) and was avoided to the best of my abilities, but aside of that, it was a celebration of laughing until my stomach hurt, spending until my wallet hurt and drinking until my liver hurt (Guy Fieri, you diabolical bastard). For me, VHS Fest is a reunion of friends from all over the U.S. and Canada, and this year’s was no exception, as fans of my previous podcast work, excessively kind Canuck brethren and folks I just like spending time with all converged on the hallowed drive-in grounds. The Mahoning Drive-In is a magical place, and while I feel the use of the term “magical” has truly jumped the shark, the friendships I have made and the bonds that have flourished at this drive-in are truly a supernatural force. This collection of so many degenerates is my analog family, and each year, our laughter and commiseration further solidify my love for schlock cinema – and for the aficionados of said schlock.
Now, to the important part – the spoils of the weekend. My big get was a double dose of horror: an extremely minty Dr. Butcher MD (Paragon VHS) and the Vestron Video VHS release of Slaughter High. I also obtained a copy of The People Who Own The Dark, a gap in my Paul Naschy education that delivers on some serious supernatural dread. Overall, I encourage any analog-minded deviant to attend VHS Fest at least once. What is best in life, Conan? To eat concession stand corndogs, to buy dead media and to hear the lamentations of normies who don’t understand that Nightbeast is a work of cinematic art.
YK: Every year artist Hayden Hall from Sick Slice Studios and Luther’s Mid-Fright Snack creates the official poster for VHS Fest, and it’s always glorious. We were also graced with the trailer for his feature-length, shot-on-VHS film Pizza Party Massacre, which now has 175,000 views on YouTube and is premiering at the Mahoning Drive-In Theatre on September 13. Regardless of my aversion to the opening films, VHS Fest is my most beloved summer event, and I look forward to it every year. And I’m always happy to appease my American chums by smuggling all-dressed chips across the border. A tremendous amount of work must go into organizing VHS Fest, and I ever so gratefully cherish all those involved. Thank you for bringing this outstanding event into our lives and making my analog dreams come true. Lastly, I’d like to thank the fine person who sold me a sexy picture of Fabio for $1. It’s now on my fridge.
The Mahoning Drive-In’s projection booth, where dead media comes to life
