By YASMINA KETITA

They breed. They hatch. They kill. They’re not blue, and they’re not monkeys, but one thing’s for sure, BLUE MONKEY is an ‘80s Canadian sci-fi horror movie that’s worth a watch. Directed by William Fruet and released in 1987, BLUE MONKEY is a slimy, 1950s-style bug-infested movie with a minuscule budget that plays like a mutated version of Aliens – with added lasers.

BLUE MONKEY begins with an old lady named Marwella Harbison (Helen Hughes) in her greenhouse with Fred Adams (Sandy Webster) as he woos her into a date with him. Fred notices a dying plant, and as he reaches for it, what he believes to be a thorn pricks his hand. That prick is the result of an insect bite, and sadly, Fred won’t be able to make use of his Viagra. Fred is admitted to the hospital and the bite on his hand develops gangrene. Meanwhile, Detective Jim Bishop (Steve Railsback) rushes his partner, who was shot in a crossfire, into the hospital as an insect pupa resembling a giant maggot crawls from Fred’s mouth. Dr. Rachel Carson, played by Gwynyth Walsh (who portrayed the Klingon B’Etor in Star Trek: The Next Generation), immediately wants to examine the maggot pupa, and for some reason, this turns Jim on, giving him his opportune time to deliver his misogynistic pick-up line: “So, ah, who gets to examine you?”

Rachel decides to take Jim on a tour of the hospital while his partner’s in surgery, and she shows him a new laser research lab where men in white hazmat suits and goggles are performing molecular breakdown tests for DNA. Later, an x-ray of the maggot pupa reveals that it’s a shell with something living inside. They cut it open (without a containment field of sorts in place, you know, for safety), and the insect inside escapes from its cocoon. Luckily, they trap it in a bell jar.

Business continues and more patients arrive. George Baker (Joe Flaherty) brings his pregnant wife, Sandra (Robin Duke), in to deliver their baby. The hospital’s child patients continuously run amok (Sarah Polley is among them) – and these stupid kids are the reason everything goes to shit because they cause the insect’s escape.

The doctors notice other patients exhibiting the same symptoms as Fred and realize whatever virus he has is infectious, so they begin to quarantine the hospital. But once the power goes out, people start to panic. The authorities and entomologist Elliot Jacobs (Don Lake) are summoned to investigate and shoot anyone who tries to escape. The hospital janitor goes into the basement to investigate the power outage and finds huge cocoons filled with people hanging from the ceiling. He then gets attacked by a large creature. After some time, Rachel, Jim and Elliot go into the basement to see what’s up. Well, what’s up is a bunch of cocoons and a huge bug creature giving birth to multiple eggs.

The late Joe Flaherty as Count Floyd. “Scary, kids, scary!”

Although he only plays a small part in BLUE MONKEY, let’s take a moment to treasure the late, great Joe Flaherty, who died this year on April 1. I grew up watching Flaherty on the classic Canadian sketch comedy show SCTV and later on Maniac Mansion. (Why this show was never released will forever elude me.) Later still, in my adolescence, I enjoyed Flaherty’s work on Freaks and Geeks. Thank you for all the laughs, Joe. Rest in peace.

It’s unclear why this movie is called BLUE MONKEY. It was originally titled Green Monkey, but that was changed due to negative connotations with an AIDS conspiracy theory). The only connection I’ve noted is the heavy use of blue lights for the insect creature shots in the basement. The title refers to one of the child patient’s nightmares about a monster he calls Blue Monkey. The creature is a prosthetic suit worn by Ivan E. Roth, who played numerous undead characters in the ‘80s. BLUE MONKEY is a fun creature feature with some gooey SFX, a cool chest-exploding scene and a few Canadian accents, eh? Plus, the two old drunk ladies are the icing on this B-movie cake. As far as I know, BLUE MONKEY was only ever released on VHS. Perhaps a Blu-ray release will happen soon, so I don’t have to turn up the brightness on my TV during those basement scenes.