Charisse explains more about her background and inspiration on her website:

“As the daughter of the geologist, I grew up looking closely at fossils and rock formations. This fascination with natural forms continues, and my childhood rock collection has evolved into my current palette of precious and semi-precious stones. After years working as a sculptor and receiving an MFA from Cranbrook Academy of Art, my aesthetic remains centered on the organic and precious. In 2000 I created my jewellery line, casting from nature and crafting delicate, vine-like necklaces from precious stones.”

For more information, and to take a look at the full collection, visit Dear Swallow online, or on Facebook.

May’s program includes a mini-showcase of titles from the UK short film series Bloody Cuts.* Here’s the full lineup for this month’s event:

Ocho (15 minutes, Spain, premiere)
DIR: Raúl Cerezo
The birthday party from Hell.

Child Eater (15 minutes, premiere)
DIR: Erlingur Thoroddsen
A simple night of babysitting takes a horrifying turn when Helen realizes the boogeyman really is in Lucas’ closet. Previous selection of SXSW.

Bewilderbeast (25 minutes, Denmark, premiere)
DIR: Balder Skanstrom-Bo
Mads leaves his aristocratic home after his girlfriend announces his pregnancy, in an attempt to rediscover himself. Reminiscent of a Danish American Psycho.

Fist of Jesus (15 minutes, Spain)
DIR: David Munoz, Adrian Cardona
Jesus is always willing to lend a hand to those in need, but there are others that will taste his fist. Insane short from the creators of Little Terrors favourite Brutal Relax.

Don’t Move (14 minutes, UK)
DIR: Anthony Melton
Set on one fateful night, six friends gather for their monthly “games night” – and accidentally unleash a demonic force that may tear them to pieces. Part of our Bloody Cuts showcase.

Mother Died (7 minutes, UK)
DIR: Neill Gorton
Fear, family and a young woman’s survival. Part of our Bloody Cuts showcase.

Dead Man’s Lake (9 minutes, UK)
DIR: Ben Franklin
A harmless camping trip turns deadly thanks to a fireworks accident. Part of our Bloody Cuts showcase.

Abe (8 minutes, UK)
DIR: Rob McLellan
Is Abe the first robot serial killer? Intense short with excellent special effects.

*The poster this month is unpublished work from late artist Kevin Hutchinson.

__

As usual, links aplenty:

Little Terrors homepage:
http://www.littleterrorsfestival.com/

Fanpage for future events:
https://www.facebook.com/littleterrorstoronto

Unstable Ground:
http://www.unstableground.net/
https://www.facebook.com/unstableground

Magic Lantern Carlton Cinema:
http://www.rainbowcinemas.ca/A/?theatre=Carlton&

Official YouTube playlist (catch up on what you’re missing!):
http://www.youtube.com/user/unstableground#grid/user/BEB80A4EC425BFEB

Filmmakers, submit your shorts here:
http://www.littleterrorsfestival.com/submissions.html

Also, joining Don and Feedback in the Vault is none other than Rue Morgue’s Editor in Chief, Dave Alexander along with everyone’s favourite electronic terrorist, the irrepressible Winston The Homicidal Computer.

Endure,

:- FDBK

Check out The Rue Morgue Podcast on Chonebook!
And if you’re so inclined to tweet and twitter, you can find Feedback HERE.

To have one of your letters read on an upcoming edition of the Rue Morgue Podcast, send an email to letters @ ruemorgueradio.com.

To listen to the episode, use the embedded player or click HERE
(or ‘Right Click’ to save to your hard drive).

To subscribe in iTunes…

Open iTunes > Hit the ADVANCED tab > select SUBSCRIBE TO PODCAST > and in the window that pops up, enter the following URL:

http://www.ruemorgueradio.com/RMpodcast/rss.xml

Then hit OK > And watch as all the episdes of the podcast automagically appear in your iTunes podcast folder!

The trailer leaks plenty of monstrous action, so have a look for yourself:

To view the Lenticular poster in action, click here.

Here is a synopsis from the press release:

“Set in a dystopic present where vigilant gargoyles and ferocious demons rage in a battle for ultimate power, Victor Frankenstein’s creation Adam (Aaron Eckhart) finds himself caught in the middle as both sides race to discover the secret to his immortality.

From the creators of the hit supernatural saga, Underworld, comes the action thriller I, Frankenstein, written for the screen and directed by Stuart Beattie based on the graphic novel I, Frankenstein by Kevin Grevioux, and brought to life by a cast that includes Aaron Eckhart, Bill Nighy, Yvonne Strahovski, Miranda Otto, Jai Courtney, Socratis Otto, Mahesh Jadu, Caitlin Stasey and Aden Young as Victor Frankenstein.”

To stay updated on the latest announcements and updates, follow I, Frankenstein on Facebook.

Featuring The Cemetery and Lake Noir

I hated Cub Scouts. It involved far too much nature, the great outdoors, The Jungle Book and, worst of all for a movie-obsessed fat kid like me, camping.

Of course it wasn’t all bad. There was one camping trip that stands out in my mind, where my Cub group went to Kristy Lake, just outside Ottawa, Ontario. This campsite, as one leader erroneously told me and a few other Cubs, was the very same one where “the real Jason from Friday the 13th” was known to stalk and kill campers. I was young and naive and didn’t realize he was full of shit, so I believed every word. That whole trip, I kept seeing big, burly man-like shapes in the trees, watching and waiting. The two nights we stayed there I could hardly sleep, worried that I would wake up to find Jason standing over me, holding the severed head of one of the camp leaders, while a couple of the other kids had some pretty heavy nightmares. When word of the story got back to the head honcho, the lying leader was excused from the next Cub Scout outing.

Needless to say, it was the best camping experience I’ve ever had.

Camping and horror are such a perfect team. The setting has you caged in by trees, unable to see what’s coming for you and you’re isolated in the wilderness without a soul to help. Some camping horror films use this setting to their advantage and represent (quite accurately, I’d imagine) the utter hopelessness of being hunted down in the woods. Others are simply utterly hopeless, using the setting as a cheap cliche.

I’m sure it will become very apparent which category each of these entries falls into.

THE CEMETERY
Starring Natalie Jean, J.D. Brown and Tabetha Ray
Written and Directed by Adam Ahlbrandt
Adversary Films

BLOOD: Gobs of graphic and gratuitous gore

BUDGET: Undisclosed

This demonic horror flick has so much going for it – great gore, vibrant visuals, and a cool-as-hell killer – but its convoluted back story, which gives way to a paper-thin plot, leaves this Ahlbrandt/Jean team-up feeling a little hollow.

Recalling The Evil Dead by way of The Blair Witch Project, this fiendish flick follows a team filming a paranormal investigation TV show to a crude cemetery up in the hills of Pennsylvania. The graveyard is the final resting place for victims of a mass exorcism in 1671, which resulted in priests torturing, killing, and eating choice bits of hundreds of so-called possessed. The motley crew pay no respect to the dark history of the place and set up camp, all the while making fun of the legend and, of course, try their darnedest to get laid. Little do they know, some creepy-looking, half-naked demon is wandering the woods. By the time they discover the demon’s presence while reviewing some footage, it’s too late, as crew member Andrea has already been possessed and proceeds to brutally massacre the boisterous bunch, one-by-one.

Played by actor/stunt person Natalie Jean in her second Adam Ahlbrandt film (the first one, Cross Bearer, made the BoaB best of 2012 list), the sassy and brassy Andrea is a full-bodied physical specimen. The TV crew is made up of unappealing characters who fill typical slasher roles such as horny douchebag, whiney douchebag, stoner douchebag and wet blanket. The woods are used well to confine the characters to one place, though, and it’s a devious delight to watch the destitute crew being horrifically torn apart by the possessed Andrea.

Snippets of the 17^th century exorcisms, accompanied by a cheesy voice over, provide a haunting prologue, but interrupt the narrative flow when they are dropped in throughout the film. These clips, despite being well made and quite creepy, seem shoehorned in and make the film feel unbalanced, giving too much back story for a such a simple main plot.

What made Cross Bearer so good was its cast of uncommon characters, its gritty aesthetic and some pretty great gore, all wrapped up in a straightforward plot. This stylish slasher, on the other hand, has its sights – and slaughter – up to snuff, but takes the stereotypical route in its character development, trying to make up for it with over-used exposition. The brutal butchering alone makes The Cemetery worth the watch, but the film ultimately leaves you hungry for a little more meat.

LAKE NOIR
Starring Mike G., Geno Romo and Michelle Damis
Directed by Jeffrey Schneider
Written by Abel Martinez Jr.
Brain Damage Films

BLOOD: Strange splats of Birdemic-grade CGI blood

BUDGET: Hopefully very little

If your problem with the Friday the 13^th films was that they moved too fast and weren’t idiotic enough, then Lake Noir is the film for you.

Bathed in a hard-rock soundtrack that would sound cliched even to a Nickleback fan, this slow-moving slasher follows a group of teens – who have some very prominent laugh lines and crow’s feet for their age – on a sex- and alcohol-fueled camping trip. Unfortunately the titular lake, near where they set up camp, is the same one a “kid” (a big bald man with a goatee) named Caesar was beaten to death and thrown into, many years ago. Despite warnings from Ol’ Mr. McAvoy (a man who hangs around a nearby gas station, wouldn’t you know), the group proceeds to fool around on the cursed land and eventually get themselves clumsily murdered (save for one, of course) by the hulking murder victim.

For the better part of its 90-minute runtime, Lake Noir subjects its audience to what can only be described as a humourless version of the lost film Porky’s Gone Campin’. The flimsy plot is padded with sexist dialogue (“Shouldn’t we start a fire?” “That’s what boys are for”), beer and underwear product placement, and a whole lot of bare breasts. No tension is built, and the killer, whose glossy blue complexion makes him look like Grimace’s distant cousin, doesn’t show up until an hour into the film, only to perform some of the most idiotic kills imaginable, such as pushing someone into a tree… to death.

What I love about independent horror is no matter how terrible the directing, the acting, or the script may be, there lies a big heart at its core. Lake Noir, though, seems to have torn out its own ticker and replaced it with the desire to turn a quick buck off of tricking innocent horror fiends into watching this repugnant romp. Despite portraying women as sex-crazed sperm vessels and men as sex-crazed sperm launchers, Lake Noir is most insulting to its viewers for seeing them as the kind of cretins who would enjoy such an atrocity.
____

The Cemetery is still making the festival rounds and heading to Cannes, along with Cross Bearer and Punk Rock Holocaust 3 (directed by the special effects artist of the two other films). You can follow its progress and find out all about it on the Adversary Films website. Lake Noir is available through Brain Damage Films and major retailers around North America.

PATRICK DOLAN

Do you have or know a film that you think should be reviewed here? Contact patrick@rue-morgue.com

[While we were generally able to avoid mentioning it in the Wicker Man retrospective that serves as the backbone of our British horror issue (RM#133, on stands now!), there comes a time when one must discuss Neil LaBute's 2006 remake. The time is now and the duty has fallen to Phil Brown, who contributes this rundown of the film's top five offenses. Stiff upper lip, Phil...]

One of the greatest tributes to Nicolas Cage’s insanity was his personal quest to produce and star in a remake of The Wicker Man – which he dedicated to Johnny Ramone, no joke. Cage took one of the greatest horror movies ever made and transformed it into a piece indeliberate camp that launched a thousand memes. Cage and writer/director Neil LaBute now claim their multimillion dollar mistake was always intended to be a tongue-in-cheek comedy. Regardless the film is practically a clinic on how not to remake a classic of British horror cinema. Or any cinema for that matter. In case you haven’t been subjected to it, here are five moments that ensure the 2006 Wicker Man will live on in unintentionally hilarious infamy.

5) The Bear Suit

Leading up to the cult sacrifice, Cage dons a bear suit to sneak into the festivities. Unlike “The Fool” costume that Sergeant Howie wore in the original film to complete Summerisle’s terrifying ritual, there’s no purpose to this Furry convention costume. It just makes Cage to look particularly ridiculous when the film should become scary.

Click here to view the embedded video.

4) The Dead Girl Double Dream

While searching for his missing daughter, Cage spots her corpse floating under a dock. So he pulls her out and is terrified by the discovery, but then wakes up from that terrible dream… only to still have her corpse in her arms! Don’t worry, that’s also a dream and the cheapest of all scares. It’s unclear how Cage fell asleep while standing on a dock in daylight, but it is clear that if you ask Nic Cage to provide the two least convincing shocked awakenings in the history of acting, he’ll deliver.

Click here to view the embedded video.

3) How’d It Get Burned?!

Here’s a tip for all aspiring detectives. How do you get a reluctant witness to tell you how a mysterious doll was burned? By screaming the question repeatedly in her face, without giving her a chance to answer, of course.

Click here to view the embedded video.

2) The Ole Walk ’n’ Punch

Near the climax, Cage slowly walks across the room towards an old woman who lied to him earlier and punches her in the face without saying a word. Playwright-turned-filmmaker LaBute spent his career dodging accusations of misogyny and intended The Wicker Man to be a mainstream escape from such controversy. Then he turned a religious critique into a tale of a community of evil women who sacrifice men, with a final twenty minutes composed almost entirely of Cage beating up women.

Click here to view the embedded video.

1) The Bees! The Bees!

Honestly, the entire sacrifice sequence could claim this top spot as Nic spends it all narrating every act of torture through screams, as if starring in a radio play for the deaf. The highlight comes when he’s forced to wear a helmet full of CGI bees and squeals about them being in his eyes. You’d think you’d keep your mouth shut in that situation to avoid bees flying in, but you aren’t Nicolas Cage, now are you?

Click here to view the embedded video.

Phil Brown

And we have a new contest as well! A chance to win either a Vinyl or CD copy of Orgasmo Sonore’s Revisiting Obscure Film Music Volume Two.

Details inside.

Endure,

:- FDBK

Check out The Rue Morgue Podcast on Chonebook!
And if you’re so inclined to tweet and twitter, you can find Feedback HERE.

To have one of your letters read on an upcoming edition of the Rue Morgue Podcast, send an email to letters @ ruemorgueradio.com.

To listen to the episode, use the embedded player or click HERE
(or ‘Right Click’ to save to your hard drive).

To subscribe in iTunes…

Open iTunes > Hit the ADVANCED tab > select SUBSCRIBE TO PODCAST > and in the window that pops up, enter the following URL:

http://www.ruemorgueradio.com/RMpodcast/rss.xml

Then hit OK > And watch as all the episdes of the podcast automagically appear in your iTunes podcast folder!