Greetings webstalkers and welcome to the first edition of MONSTRO BIZARRO!  Each month I will delight you with tales of mysterious monsters from around the world.  And by monsters I mean the sort that people report seeing in the shadowy corners of the “real world” as opposed to those that typically haunt the “film world.”  We’ve all heard of the Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot, Mothman – to name a few – but what about the bat-like Kongamato, the man-animals known as Almas, the terrifying Mokele-Mbembe, Dobhar-Chu, the Ahool??  What about all the real-life monsters whose tales have been lost, underestimated, or devoured by larger cover stories.  These lesser-known beasts often get stomped by the commanding presence of mainstays such as Bigfoot, but they are no less interesting or lacking in horror-appeal.  But rest assured, if ol’ Bigfoot, Champ or Nessie were to poke their head out, I’ll be sure to keep you posted on that as well.

Let’s face it, we love real-life monsters.  That’s why their legends run deep in all cultures and are continually re-invented for marketing or re-investigated using the latest technology.  Even vampires, werewolves, and zombies started their careers as real horrors born of such things as medical ignorance, superstition, or religious beliefs.  Yet even in our science-savvy world, sighting of these creatures are still reported!  So let’s have a look at a few of the forgotten and/or the most horrifying monsters that lurk in the shadows of our lakes, forests, and perhaps even our collective subconscious.  This is….

Who Am I?

Some of you may know me as the frontman of the outlaw horror rock band from Texas known as GHOULTOWN.  Those that do are probably aware of my affinity for all things that have to do with monsters, horror, and spaghetti westerns.  I’ve been a fan of these type movies since childhood and have somehow managed to roll them into the themes of our genre-bending music.  I’ve penned songs for horror movie soundtracks, written the theme song for Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, and have appeared with Ghoultown at many horror conventions around the U.S. over the years.  A time or two, Rue Morgue has written great articles on the band, so some of you long-time readers may have seen those.  But enough about the band and onto the reason for creating Monstro Bizzaro…

(Proudly displaying my Bigfoot robot toy as a kid)

Among my personal interests of collecting monster toys and memorabilia, I’ve always been fascinated with reports of real-life monsters such as hairy ape-men, lake monsters, goat-suckers and the like.  Reading all those “Strange But True” books as a kid and seeing the movie The Legend of Boggy Creek at an impressionable age got me hooked.  In fact, The Legend of Boggy Creek (based on allegedly true stories of a hairy ape-like creature haunting south Arkansas) is significant for several reasons, one of which is that the movie was filmed in Fouke, Arkansas only a few hours north of my home in Texas.  As a kid my dad and I hunted much of the backwoods of Texas and near Texarkana, so it was particularly exciting (and disturbing!) to think that a monster like this might really exist.  For my young mind, it was the best of all things – getting to hunt and camp with my father while keeping an eye out for any possible monsters that my have been lurking just beyond the campfire light.

(Me with Bob Gimlin – of the famous Patterson-Gimlin film – in 2009)

To some these creatures are science, to others entertainment, and to some it’s all just BS.   But whether you’re a believer or a skeptic, it doesn’t matter.  After all, it’s only monsters… and monsters make for great tales.

Tagged: Bigfoot, Bob Gimlin, Cryptozoology, Legend of Boggy Creek, Loch Ness Monster, Monsters, Patterson-Gimlin Film