Rue Morgue Podcast

Episode 092: DIAL “M” FOR WANKER!

on November 17, 2012 | 35 Comments

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Share your most memorable, bizarre, wildest, weirdest and/or most horrendous experience in a movie theatre and you could win a copy of the 5 disc Collector’s Edition of The Hammer House of Horror TV Series courtesy of Synapse Films – or one of three copies of the 2 hour trailer compilation Color Correct My Cock on either Big Box VHS or Blu-ray courtesy of the mad buggers over at Vagrancy Films.

More details on this episode of Post Apocalypse.

Also – updates on Last Chance Lance’s Canadian zombie epic Frostbite!

Endure.

:- FDBK

P.S. A number of listeners have mentioned having problems accessing the shows on iTunes. We’re not sure what the issue is as it’s working for us but here’s a fool-proof method how to get the shows downloaded on your iTunes.

Open iTunes > Hit the ADVANCED tab > select SUBSCRIBE TO PODCAST > and in the window that pops up, enter the following URL:

http://www.ruemorgueradio.com/RMpodcast/rss.xml

Then hit OK > And watch as all the episdes of the podcast automagically appear in your iTunes podcast folder!

Also, here’s some photos that go along with this episode:


Left to Right: John “Rambo” Stevens, Kayvon “Superfan” Zahedi, John “Rotten” Lydon.


Lance with Little Chris & a pair of Kangaroo Bollocks!


Lance at his old club The Sanctuary – circa the good old days!


Lance’s Post-Apocalyptic DeLorean.

To have one of your letters read on an upcoming edition of the Rue Morgue Podcast, send an email to letters @ ruemorgueradio.com.

To listen to the episode, use the embedded player or click HERE
(or ‘Right Click’ to save to your hard drive).
To subscribe in iTunes, use the following URL:

http://www.ruemorgueradio.com/RMpodcast/rss.xml.

Tags: ask the embalmer, color correct my cock, frostbite, Hammer House of Horror, post apocalypse

Responses to Episode 092: DIAL “M” FOR WANKER!

  1. Lance says:

    Wow – Lance – you are so fucking cool!
    Why are you slumming around with Feedback
    You should branch out on your own
    seriously, dude, do it!

    -Lance

  2. Alexandra says:

    My best friend and I love stupid horror movies so one evening back in 2009 we decided to check out The Uninvited for shits and giggles. Fifteen minutes into the movie which was just as stupid as we’d hoped for, three pre-teen girls sit in front of us and proceed to make and take phone calls as well as scream and yell at the movie screen. Citizen Kane this movie was not, but I had paid good money to see it and since those girls seemed to have no clue that anyone else was in the theatre I waited until the next build for the next jump scare (there were a lot of those if I remember correctly) and as the music built they started to build I kicked the back of one of their seats as hard as I could (which made one of them spill their drink on themselves) and leaned forward slowly and whispered “seven days…” I don’t know what inspired the “seven days” bit but it worked and the girls jumped up and ran out of the theatre. I hope somehow, someway Samara from the Ring found them and ate their souls.

  3. FDBK says:

    Excellent start! I hope we get a lot of good entries like this – it’ll be a great follow-up show!

  4. Brendan says:

    One time I was in a movie theater and a guy sitting next to me began making strange snoring sounds. Naturally I thought he fell asleep and nudged my friend to check this guy out (as one does). Well his bizarre movements and sounds escalated and it soon became apparent that (1) he wasn’t sleeping or snoring, he was having a full blown seizure, and (2) I was an asshole. Luckily he had a friend with him who snapped him out of it and they quickly left the theater. I guess this wasn’t a new scenario for either of them. So seizure guy was fine and I got to go back to watching – get this – Inland Empire. How perfectly fitting, right?

  5. Jeff Chew says:

    When I was young enough that I still had to get my mom to take me to a Rated-R movie, I went to see Scream 3 on opening night in the small town of Sydney, Nova Scotia. Needless to say, it was not the kind of place I would expect to have my only brush with a real movie theatre gimmick.

    None of the audience had been allowed into the theatre yet and we were all corralled in the area where you’d buy your popcorn and whatnot. Above us, there was a row of large windows that looked in on the projection rooms.

    Without warning, the lights all went down except for the ones on the other side of these windows. We heard a loud scream and a female movie theatre employee ran into view at the far side of the row of windows, followed closely by Ghostface himself. He caught up to her at the last window and, with a swipe of his knife, fake blood exploded onto the window (at least I hope it was fake). The employee hit the ground and he picked her up be her foot and dragged her out of view. Then the lights came back up and everybody cheered.

    It was easily the coolest thing that I ever experienced at a movie theatre and far more memorable than the movie itself.

  6. Chelsey says:

    My experience of watching Red State in the cinema was completely ruined by some lone crazy woman in the seat in front of me that insisted on giving a live running commentary throughout the entire film.
    “Oh no he’s got a gun!”
    “Aw..why’s he doing that…”
    “Well I didnt expect that to happen!”
    SO annoying.
    And what made it worse was this woman wasn’t even talking to anyone- she was alone, in the cinema, being all crazy and shit. Pissing everyone off.
    Would love to have bitch slapped her but I’m a regular at the cinema and didn’t wanna risk getting banned for abusive behaviour. LMAO.

  7. Rob Morganbesser says:

    Years ago, I was stationed in Ketchikan, Alaska. I went to see a double feature (remember those?) of Children of the Corn and Friday the 13th, Part 4: The Final Chapter. Well, nearly fell asleep during Corn, but during Friday, I was laughing like I was at a freaking Three Stooges marathon. Really, all of them after 1 kind of sucked. Well, during the movie, Crispin Glovers friend keeps calling him a “Dead Fuck.” Anyhow, Crispin finally gets laid, comes down for wine, asks his (now dead) friend, where the fancy cork screw was and BAM! Gets it right through the hand just before jason whacks him in the face with a butcher cleaver. Nearly choking will laughter, I shouted out, “YOU’RE A DEAD FUCK NOW!” Oddly enough the row in front of me and behind was cleared out. Which is too bad, because when another character is in a basement, getting killed and is shouting, JASON IS KILLING ME! I was in tears with laughter.

  8. Mike Nosanchuk says:

    My step dad and I went to go see Nurse Betty in 2000 when it came out, I lived in St. Catherine’s Ontario at the time, I was ten years old. The movie started and there was maybe only a handful of people in the theatre, including two elderly men near the front row. A cannot recall the plot of the film seeing as we did not finish it, but I think somewhere around the 20 minute mark there is a scene where a man is tied to a chair and graphically has his head scalped. The scene ended and one of the two elderly men frantically stood up and shouted for someone to call the paramedics, the lights came on and we saw that his friend was breathing heavily and had his head in his lap. I distinctly remember the heavy breathing sound, weirdest fucking noise I had ever heard being as young as I was. The audience was told to leave the theatre, an ambulance arrived and the man was taken out on a stretcher. We got our money back and called it a night. I still have never seen the movie Nurse Betty in its entirety. A truly memorable time as a young boy.

  9. Tara says:

    I have to say, the weirdest experience I’ve had in a movie theatre pales in comparison to the wieidest experience I’ve had trying to watch live theatre. If you don’t mind, I’ll briefly share both. I remember going to a late-night showing of one of those Mummy remakes starring Brendan Fraser (not sure I should be admitting this) when I lived in Seoul. It was when cell phones had truly taken off and there wasn’t an ounce of etiquette formed around them. I swear to you, it was like trying to view a film in a large, dark telemarketer’s office. There were so many people on their phones (and many loud and drunk – it was a late night film) that I just had to give up.
    Another Seoul story… when Carmen was advertised, my opera fanatic friend Melanie excitedly invited me; it was her favourite. She emailed me a synopsis of the plot ahead of time, and lent me a copy of the opera with her favourite cast. We didn’t recognize the venue, but Seoul being a huge city, we assumed it was an undiscovered arts center. It was a sports stadium. An *open* *air* sports stadium. Mid-November freezing. It began to rain/sleet even before the production began, and our seats weren’t under the partial ceiling. So far were we from the huge stage (live horses, huge chorus – this was a big production) that we could hold out our hands about two feet apart (or less), and bracket the performance space. The opera began. Try to imagine the acoustics with an open ceiling and a windy, frigid storm. The last straw was the titular character, who, rather than being a youngish vixen was more in dowager territory. We left before the first act was complete, found a bar, and got roundly, rantingly drunk.
    I’ve already ordered Hammer House of Horror from Luis, so this reply was just for fun. t

    • Tara says:

      PS. At the “opera” people around us in the stands, lots of people, took advantage of the fast food outlets outside the venue and brought in full meals in paper bags and cardboard boxes- and proceeded to loudly eat them. The air was thick with deep fried grease. The whole experience was surreal.

  10. LaMort says:

    First let me start with a friends incident. He went to see THE EXCORCIST on the big screen and some dude started cry out for help during one of the infamous bedroom scenes. People in the half empty theater thought is was a joke, until eventually after the cries for help did not cease they noticed a guy on the floor having a seizure. An ambulance was called meanwhile the whole time the film kept playing. After the man was taken away in an ambulance my friend was so creeped out by the incident he left before the film completed. lols
    My incident is a recent one since my memory ain’t the greatest. I went to see BBC’s presentation of FRANKENSTEIN directed by Danny Boyle. I was sitting in the middle of the row towards the front and it was a very austere BBC kind of crowd. When a phone rings and it a woman sitting right in front of me. She answers the phone and has starts having a conversation, when the sold out crowd starts getting annoyed and starts yelling at this women to get off the phone. I hear the woman apologizing to the person on the other end, stating she can’t talk right now and before she could hang up some middle aged man behind me, stood up and smacked this poor woman on the back of the head. Next thing you know the woman sitting next to her stand up and screams “WHO JUST HIT MY MOM!! There is no need for that!!” It turns out the woman on the phone was rather old and too old to perhaps realize she was doing something wrong. Of course the dude that hit her never stepped forward.

  11. Andrew Bone says:

    Haven’t heard the podcast yet, so I’m not sure if there are rules (I’m actually in Toronto without a computer considering pressing my face up against the windows at Rue Morgue), but the one I remember best was when my girlfriend and I saw Tokyo Gore Police at the Calgary Film Fest. You would think a film fest crowd for a movie like that would know what was going on, but there were two hipster girls sitting behind us who did a running commentary on everything that happened. For every gore gag: “Oh my god! Did his head just split open! Oh my god! Did that just turn into an alligator mouth! Oh my god!” Everything was just a literal rehashing of everything that happened on the screen. We moved a few seats up to escape the confused girls and sat next to a couple who brought (drum roll) a baby (!) to the movie! I don’t think it’s wrong or anything .. the baby probably didn’t know what was going on, but Tokyo Gore Police … and a baby? I was almost as confused as the hipster girls after that. I hope that kid had a badass name like Engineer or Tokyo Gore Baby. Actually I would probably name my kid Tokyo Gore Baby.

    A close second (and I’ll say non-entry) would be when I went to see Wolverine in the theatre (I know, I shouldn’t have done that). The family sitting behind me – middle aged parents, kids in their late teens – needed to explain what was going on to each other throughout the ENTIRE FILM! One would miss something and explain it to the others, and the cycle would continue. It went on until they got all excited that parts of the movie were set in Alberta “We live there! It’s famous now!” and the father audibly farted and stunk up the back corner of the theatre. After that I think they were quiet out of fart-shame.

  12. Andrew Bone says:

    *and that comment used up my internet cafe time overbuy quite nicely.

  13. Dark Mark says:

    Watching Carrie (1976) in a packed theater, when it got to the scene where Carrie confronts her mother and pins her to the wall with all manner of sharp kitchen implements my friend yelled out “One hundred and eighty!” The audience fell about in paroxysms of laughter and never really recovered.

  14. ZIMERMAAAAAAAAAN!!! says:

    My then-girlfriend (now wife) I went to go see the awful THEY in a North York cinema. It was just us and a half dozen underage kids who were yammering on about whatever. So I turned around and shouted “Hey, can you keep it down up there?” to which they replied “why don’t you make me?”. So I got up, made my way to the back of the theatre, where they all seemed to shit a brick when they saw me. They respectfully complied and soon after, one of them went to the concession stand. He returned with a full tray of nachos, and as if to pay me back for spoiling the first part of the film, tripped on the step in our row, sending his nachos everywhere.

  15. Jason'jaysaw'Lloyd says:

    This year infact, at the 51st London BFI film festival at Leicester square. It was pretty much a full house for the 1st screening of COMPLIANCE. Pretty much 15 minutes into the film, people started to get up and leave (no shock there, it’s a very taboo subject matter. But does make you wonder if they actually read up on what the film was about?) But when more people started to get up to leave, they started yelling abuse at the screen and at the people around them. One gentleman (and i use the term loosely) shouted out to the entire cinema “Come on children, it’s time to go home now!” And i’m not talking young people that got up and left and started yelling abuse, i’m talking middle-aged people and the “gentleman” in question had to have been in his 60′s!
    i stayed for the entire film and left accordingly. That, was just a weird film going experience.

  16. Jason'jaysaw'Lloyd says:

    Another one now that you come to mentioned it has just popped into my mind. FRIGHTFEST 2012, the world premiere screening of THE SEASONING HOUSE. The film played, applause were given, and then there was a Q and A. I noticed this white bearded man wandering about aimlessly and then eventually made his way down to the line for questions. It came to his turn, he said his name and then asked ‘Is there any way you can edit it to make it a better film because that was just awful!’

    naturally, the entire theatre booed him to hell and back.

    I know there’s all this “freedom of speech” stuff in the world, but this was just damn rude. It wasn’t a bad film either.

  17. Rupert Cornelius says:

    My Mum and I are the only people in my family that actually like horror movies. My Dad hates them and my sister is ridiculously squeamish. So back in 2007 me and my Mum decide to go see Rob Zombie’s god awful remake of Halloween, mostly just for something to do and as a chance to see Malcolm McDowell and Brad Dourif. It was just supposed to be me and her and my sister was supposed to go over to her friends house. We get to the theater and are about to go in when my Dad pulls up in his truck. I’m standing there confused and asking him to make sure that he does know what movie we are going to be watching. While I’m explaining this, my sister’s two friends show up with my sister. I know this is going to be terrible. We get into a theater that is jam packed full of people and smells like old sweat. We have to sit so close to the screen that we have to be fully reclined to see it. Meanwhile, this group of about 5 teenage girls are yelling and laughing at the top of their lungs about everything in that’s happening. About 8 minutes in, from the catacombs of the theater we hear a man scream, “Shut the fuck up, bitch!” The teenage girls yell back then you just hear popcorn buckets and cups of pop flying as the man literally starts walking over people to get to these teenage girls, who promptly scream and run out of the theater. Then just after young Michael Meyers beats that kid from Spy Kids to death with a tree branch my sister goes into a full blown anxiety attack and runs out of the theater with my Mum trailing behind. My Mum spends the rest of the movie out in the lobby talking my sister down and misses basically the entire flick. When the movie finally ends as we are getting up to leave the theater my Dad and both of my sister’s friends start telling me how terrible of a movie it was, they could call everything five minutes before it happened, that I only went to see it to see Sheri Moon Zombie naked, that it was terrible for me to have dragged them to see such a terrible movie and I need to develop a better taste in movies like The Notebook and A River Runs Through It.

  18. Nick English says:

    It was sometime in 1977, when “Godzilla vs. the Cosmic Monster” (a.k.a. “Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla”) hit theaters here in the U.S.

    Outside the theater where we went to see the movie, there was some kind of street fair happening, which included fully-costumed Sesame Street characters, including Big Bird, Cookie Monster and Oscar the Grouch.

    So, a little ways into the movie, these three Muppets decided it would be a good idea to come walking through the theater. They were wrong.

    We were all getting more and more annoyed as they walked up and down the aisles and through the rows trying to have “fun” with us.

    By the time they got to the front of the theater, we’d had enough. Those beloved children’s characters got pelted with popcorn and soda until they went fleeing for the exit. The crowd went wild. Mitt Romney would have been proud.

  19. Dark Mark says:

    While serving as a chorister in my local church the unfortunate curate of my local parish was tasked with taking us all to the cinema as a Christmas treat. To say we were an unruly bunch of miscreants would be putting things mildly.
    Despite our protestations the poor bloke wouldn’t let us see Jaws (1975) which was showing for the first time as he decided we were too young and it was an inappropriate film, so we went in to see a rerun of One Million Years B.C. (1966).
    Shortly into the film when the first of Ray Harryhausen’s wonderful dinosaurs was revealed on screen one wag shouted out “They are made of rubber!” which quickly became our battle cry throughout the movie and especially whenever Raquel Welch and her rather amazing breasts appeared on screen.
    The poor bastard must have wished he had taken us to see Jaws instead and I have fond memories of the scene where Raquel loses her fur bikini. We all howled in delight as he squirmed in embarrassment and horror.

  20. ZIMERMAAAAAAAAAN!!! says:

    I’ve seen a few people faint in the movies, and a huge scrap before a showing of WAYNE’S WORLD 2 that must have been way crazier to my friends who were on LSD…

    …but my favourite story involves some hilarious instant karma- my then-girlfriend (now wife) and I went to a daytime showing of THEY (the Wes Craven stamped one) and when the movie started, a bunch of teenagers 15 rows behind us in the otherwise empty theatre began chirping and chuckling and having their own party. So I politely asked them to shut up, and they retorted with a request to make them. So up I went to ask again and this time, they complied.

    A few minutes later, the portlier of the gang went to the snack bar and returned with a tray of nachos. When he reached our row, pretty much right at the midway point of the theatre, he missed a step and wiped out, sending his nachos, cheese, and salsa everywhere.

    That moment made up for the shitty movie.

  21. David S says:

    First of all I must warn that this tale is sexual in nature. Years ago, my first serious girlfriend and I went to see Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. We were both teenagers at the time, so our main purpose in going was to do what teenagers do in a dark theater.We picked a deserted quiet spot in the back row. Around the 20 minute mark we began our awkward swapping of spit.I decided to make a move, I slowly started to move my left hand south. Once I “landed” I began to fumble around her naughty bits for a few minutes. We gathered ourselves and finished watching the movie. After it was over we left the theater and started to make our way in to the lobby. At this point my eyes are trying to adjust to the light. She grabs my hand to hold it, I take a quick glance down. My eyes finally adjust to see that a few fingers and a part of my hand are covered in dried blood. Her monthly visitor had arrived while in the movie! I instantly jerk my hand away, pull my sleeve down to cover it, and tell her I need to run to the bathroom. I washed my hands but, (this next part is a little icky) the blood had been there long enough that it would not come out around my nails. So I still had to pull my sleeve over my hand when I came out of the bathroom. We never said anything about it to each other. Even thought I am sure once she discovered her visitor had arrived she put two and two together. Well there you go, my wildest and certainly most horrific, theater experience. Hope it was not too disgusting.

  22. zombieApoc says:

    I was with Mrs. Zombie to see the new Friday the 13th. As the lights went out and the projector came on a family of six – two adults and some toddlers – walks in and proceeds to sit directly behind us. They sit down and begin munching on some food.

    Around the first kill of the film the kids begin to squirm around a bit and we also hear some coughing from further up behind us. The coughing gets thicker – wetter – and all of a sudden a little person comes running down the stairs from further up behind us, puking the whole way. She makes it to the trashcan in view of everyone and finishes up. This is around the time the kids begin to kick our seats and throw food.

    The kid play-time-jungle-gym-extravaganza-OMG-it’s-Jason fest continues for a while before the high school kids come in around half-way through the film, balloons, soda (beer?), cell phones and all. They stayed for the rest of the film. Worst theater experience ever.

  23. Weirdest experience I ever had at a theater was at a screening of The Little Mermaid, of all films. This was back when it came out, 80s sometime. I was with some friends and for whatever reason we went to a dollar theater to see it. This was a weekend night, which tells you how bored we must’ve been, to go see the Little Mermaid… anyway, sometime in the middle of the movie in walks a group of three or four guys who sit in the back of the theater and start talking, loudly, holding a conversation. This goes on for a while and eventually a young white guy who is there obviously on a date turns and says, “Hey guys, do you mind?”

    This black dude gets up, walks down to where this guy is sitting and just starts wailing on him. I mean he nailed him four or five solid shots right in the face, and no one did anything. The theater was stunned. I eventually jumped up and said , “Hey, man, stop that!” I don’t think I even thought about it, and certainly couldn’t have won a fight against this dude, but it just sort of came out of my mouth before I knew what was happening.

    The dude then turns towards me and says “Fuck you! You want some too?” Thank goodness I was there with a couple of other guys, who then stood up and we all faced the guy. Thinking back on it, we were back lit by the screen and he probably couldn’t see what total nerds we were – so he just mouthed something and went back to his own group.
    The guy he had assaulted got up and left with his date. I felt terrible for him. So here we sit, watching the rest of the fucking Little Mermaid, and the entire time I’m thinking, “I’m going to die when this film is over.” LOL. But when the film was over we got up and the group was gone. They also were not, thank goodness, waiting for us outside. I think they left to find trouble elsewhere.
    And that’s definitely my most terrifying and weird movie ordeal.

  24. Kreepylady Kristin says:

    My freaky moment in the theater happened during Gothika of all movies. Probably a good sign that I shouldn’t have went, but, it was a family outing after all. During one of the tense scenes, I jump with a start because something seems to be pulling my hair. It felt like fingers scraping through the length, quickly going to a full-blown YANK. Being one who gets easily irritated by disrespectful movie patrons, it’s not uncommon for me to get into it with someone behind me. I turn around to yell at the person, only to realize I can’t, as we were still attached!
    An older man had suffered cardiac arrest, and apparently decided to take me down with him! My hair was incredibly long back then, so he’d probably tried grabbing the chair for support, though I never hang my hair over the seat. The film was halted while we waited on an ambulance, and we all ended up getting a free movie pass after it all. It’s really the only theater experience I’d consider disturbing – aside from the usual sex, drugs, and cat pee escapades you see in the city. Crappy horror film or not, it’s frightening when your movie-watching experience gets physical!

  25. Larry Brown says:

    My weirdest experience was when i was working in a movie theatre when i was in high school. We were showing the Indian in the cupboard and i had to clean out the theatre after the shows. After the first show i found a used condom and after the second i found a pair of latex gloves and a partial jar of vasoline. I refused to clean the theatre anymore for the rest of the movies run at our theatre.

  26. bigmac64 says:

    My worst theater experience was at a pre-release screening of The Crazies remake. Not enough people had shown up, so the studio reps were pulling shoppers from the mall into the theater. Well, as the movie gets going, most of us in the back of the theater know it’s going to be a long evening, as a large, elderly woman in the very back row is too into the movie. She’s shouting out comments like, “Oh lordy, don’t go in there!” and “Oh no, she’s gonna get it!” during the build up to each jump scare. Before the last half hour, most everyone had turned to her and screamed “Shut the fuck up!” to no avail, so I decided to try something different. I turned and asked her, “If this movie is bothering so much, why don’t you just leave?” To which she replied, “I won’t ever miss out on a free movie.

    It’s why I don’t ever go to preview screenings anymore. I fear she’ll be in the theater somewhere, scoring a free film and making everyone else’s life hell.

  27. meli says:

    I have to say, I love Alxandra’s post! That is an excellent story and great reaction to the rude brats.

    My story isn’t as wild and crazy as some of these and I’m not sure it deserves to win any award, but it is a testament to my survival skills, or luck, not sure which yet.

    I have survived two consecutive years of 24 hour horror movie marathons with none other than our dear friend Owen Garth. For the listeners that are not familiar with the name, I highly recommend going back to some previous Post Apocalypse episodes where he has proved to be the ultimate creepster in his ever strange letters to our hosts FEEDBACK and Lamp.

    The first year was pretty uneventful. Owen took turns between sitting with me and another friend at the marathon every other movie or so. For the most part he didn’t say anything weird or try to fondle me or anything (that I know of). That was the year that I ordered a movie theater hotdog after probably 12 hours of movies and right after A Serbian Film screened. When the concessions worker handed me the hotdog I realized the error of my ways. Oddly enough, A Serbian Film made me crave something salty, but they were out of soft pretzels so without thinking I ordered a hotdog! Owen would use this against me the following year… or any chance he gets really.

    This year Owen and I stayed in the same hotel not far from the venue. We exchanged numbers so we could meet up and get dinner and drinks. What can I say, I love the thrill of danger. I shot him a message when I got to the hotel and he sends a message back “I’m outside your room.” Sure enough, there he was. He’s tall, broad shouldered and clad in a black leather jacket, horror movie tee, jeans, and dad shoes. He looked kinda like a badass without the dad shoes, these horrible, oversized, 80 year old man hiking shoes. Oh, and did I mention he has a rapestache? Well, he does. Looks straight up like a 70′s era rapist. Somehow at dinner he managed to bring up the topic of fisting with effortless ease. Said “let me know if I’m offending you because I talk about this stuff with my girl friends all the time.” Wonder if they’re tied up in his basement.

    The next day/night all throughout the marathon he would say stuff like “I promise not to violate your body if you fall asleep.” Then he decided he didn’t want me to fall asleep so he would threaten to “slap me with a Serbian hotdog if you fall asleep.” Not only did he say crazy shit he was sitting in the isle seat and I was in the wall see in a two-seat isle!

    Of course you know since I’m writing this that I survived. Not sure that deserves a prize up against some of the other entries, but I at least wanted to share.

    Next year I might up the ante and go to two different 24 hour movie marathons with Owen “Rapestache Dad Shoes” Garth, one sci-fi and another horror. We’ll see if I can live to tell the tale!

  28. FDBK says:

    Meli. I’ve been waiting for this…..

  29. meli says:

    It only took me two weeks to get around to it :P

    Looks like Owen changed his avatar on The Mortuary so you can see this rapestache for yourself. Truly cringe-worthy. I’m going to hop over to the thread for this episode and post pics of the dad shoes.

  30. brianunfried says:

    I worked in a theater for about 8 years, so my most memorable experiences were from being at work. One that really stands out is the time we discovered a pile of human feces in one of the theater rows. Upon closer inspection we found the perpetrator’s wallet lying next to the steaming pile. Turns out a teenager thought it would be funny to take a dump in the middle of the theater, we called his parents to come retrieve his wallet.

  31. Feedback says:

    Thanks for entering everyone.

    CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED.

    We’re picking the winners tonight.

    Stay tuned to upcoming episodes of POST APOCALYPSE for the results!

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